Leaving your family to work at sea is one of the hardest parts of being a yacht captain/crew. You’re not just leading a vessel—you’re the rock your family depends on back home. Balancing the demands of a high-stakes career with the responsibility of being a present parent and partner requires more than just good intentions; it requires planning, communication, and heart.
Here’s how you can make the time apart easier on your family—and yourself.
- Set the stage with honest communication
Before you leave, have a family meeting. Talk openly about the schedule, what to expect, and how you’ll stay in touch. Reassure your partner and children that while you’ll be physically away, you’ll still be a consistent presence in their lives.
Encourage your family to share their feelings about your departure. This way, you can address any fears or concerns head-on and build trust by showing that you’re listening.
- Create a communication plan
One of the biggest challenges of being away is staying connected. Build a plan to make communication predictable and reliable.
- Schedule Regular Calls: Whether it’s a nightly video call or a weekly check-in, keep it consistent so your family knows when to expect to hear from you.
- Send Updates: Share pictures, messages, or quick voice notes about your day. These small gestures keep you involved in their daily lives.
- Time Zone Awareness: Plan calls around family milestones like bedtime stories or school runs, even if it means losing a bit of your own downtime.
- Leave behind a piece of you
Physical reminders of your presence can provide comfort to your family while you’re gone.
- Record yourself reading bedtime stories for your kids.
- Leave personal notes or “open when” letters for your partner to read during challenging times.
- Share a calendar marking your return so they have a visual countdown.
- Keep family traditions alive
Just because you’re away doesn’t mean traditions have to stop. Adapt them!
- Virtual Movie Nights: Watch the same movie at the same time while on a call.
- Family Meals: Share a meal over a video call once a week, even if it’s just coffee and toast.
- Celebrations from Afar: Send thoughtful gifts or organize surprises for birthdays and holidays.
- Prioritize mental and emotional resilience
It’s normal to feel guilt or sadness while you’re away. Acknowledge these feelings and take steps to manage them.
- Stay Present: When you’re talking to your family, give them your full attention.
- Find Support: Connect with other captains or crew who understand what you’re going through.
- Practice Self-Care: Exercise, meditate, or journal to keep yourself grounded.
- Make your time at home count
When you’re back on land, focus on quality over quantity. Be intentional about how you spend time with your family.
- Plan special activities with each family member to reconnect.
- Create a family ritual for your return, like a celebratory meal or outing.
- Give your partner time to rest and recharge while you take over day-to-day responsibilities.
- Involve your family in your work
Sharing stories about your life at sea helps your family feel included in your world.
- Show them pictures or videos of your vessel, crew, or destinations.
- Teach your kids about navigation or marine life—they’ll love feeling part of your adventure.
- Have a reentry plan
Coming back home can be as challenging as leaving. Prepare for the transition:
- Discuss expectations with your partner before you return.
- Ease back into family routines rather than trying to take control immediately.
- Reflect on what worked during your time away and what could be improved next time.
Final thoughts
Being a yacht captain/crew is a demanding career, but it doesn’t have to come at the cost of your family relationships. By planning ahead, staying connected, and prioritizing your loved ones even while at sea, you can navigate the challenges and create a lifestyle that supports both your career and the people who matter most.
Amanda Jean Hewson Beaver
Amanda has been a registered nurse and professional sailor for 20 years. She’s from a family of active sailors and has sailed extensively herself, covering 60,000 nm at sea. She has nursed in the Outback with flying doctors, in refugee camps and offshore on oil rigs. She has also served as the medic for multiple sailing races, including the Sydney Hobart, the Fastnet, and the Rolex 600.
Amanda has a Master’s degree in Marine and In ternational Medicine, and has worked widely with a number of yacht racing campaigns around the world. She is a senior lecturer at the University of Tasmania School of Medicine, specializing in Extreme, Expe dition, and Marine Medicine. She is also a Mental Health, Resilience, and Team Building Coach for Yacht Crew.
If you have attended a course run by Amanda, you will have experienced the passion she has for marine medicine, being prepared and the prevention of trau ma and illness at sea.
