Making comparisons is a natural human tendency, but if you find that it is causing you distress or affecting your self-esteem, there are ways to reduce and manage the habit. This topic comes up a lot with my counselling clients and leadership students, so I thought it would be a useful one to address. Here are some strategies to help you stop making comparisons:
- Practice self-awareness
The first step is to become aware of when you’re making comparisons. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings when you find you’re comparing yourself to others. Acknowledge that comparisons are occurring and recognise their negative impact on your well-being. Start noticing the situations that cause you to play the comparison game. Using a therapeutic tool such as ‘thought stopping’ or CBT is an effective way to learn how to overcome your negative thoughts. Also, consider setting boundaries such as how you spend your time on social media. If you are feeling low after scrolling, consider managing the time you spend it on it and what you expose yourself to.
- Focus on self-acceptance
Embrace your strengths, weaknesses, and unique qualities. Remind yourself that everyone has their own journey and that you are on your own path. Practice self-compassion and appreciate yourself for who you are. So often we can focus our thoughts on what we don’t have rather than what we do have. This keeps us stuck in a spiral of negative thinking. A simple activity to switch your mindset is to create a ‘compliment bucket’. This is where you can collect feedback and affirmations you receive throughout the day or week.
- Surround yourself with positivity
Try to surround yourself with positive influences and supportive individuals who appreciate you for who you are. A common theme that has come up recently with my counselling clients is the feeling of loneliness. They are missing meaningful connections and conversations. When on board, make sure you engage with or stay connected to individuals who are authentic and have your best interests.
- Celebrate your achievements
Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your own accomplishments – big or small. Set personal goals and work towards them, focusing on your progress rather than comparing them to others. Recognise your unique talents and strengths and nurture them. In our Advanced Leadership course, we complete an array of assessments to learn about ourselves and our strengths. A great assessment to do is the VIA character strengths analysis.
- Practice gratitude
Cultivate a sense of gratitude for what you have in your life. When you appreciate the things you already possess, it becomes easier to let go of comparisons and envy. It is impossible to feel gratitude and envy at the same time. There is a great saying “where focus goes, energy flows. And where energy flows, whatever you’re focusing on grows.” This means that your life is controlled by what you focus on. That’s why you need to be intentional in choosing to focus your energy where it matters.
- Develop a growth mindset
Embrace the belief that your abilities and qualities can be developed through effort and dedication. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on self-improvement and personal growth. See challenges as opportunities for learning and development. In the TCC Tribe membership, we provide guidance, support, and resources to crew members looking to excel in their careers and improve their overall well-being.
- Engage in self-care
Take care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Nurture healthy habits such as exercise, meditation, journaling, or pursuing hobbies. When you prioritise self-care, you shift your focus on comparing yourself to others to nurturing your own well-being.
- Seek support if needed
If comparisons continue to significantly impact your self-esteem and well-being, consider seeking support from a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. They can provide guidance, offer perspective, and help you develop strategies to overcome the habit of comparing yourself to others.
Remember, breaking the habit of making comparisons takes time and effort. Be patient and kind to yourself as you work towards a healthier mindset and a greater sense of self-acceptance.
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