FALSE FRIENDS/FALSOS AMIGOS – PART ONE
This month we delve into the rather amusing area of false friends. I, of course, am referring to pairs of words that exist in two languages which look similar, but actually have a completely different meaning, not someone trying to sabotage you behind your back, but being as nice as pie to your face – they are called ‘w*nkers’.
Actually is in fact a false friend. You would assume that the Spanish word actualmente is the direct translation of the English actually, but actually is actually en realidad. Actualmente actually means currently/presently. Uff, a complicated and a boring one to start, but one which could cause misunderstandings if not used correctly.
En realidad /en ray-ALLEY-dad/ = actually
Actualmente /ac-TOO-al-mentay/ = currently/presently
Let’s take a look at the more amusing fails. If I’m going to be embarrassing others with their funny fails, I need to first embarrass myself a little bit. Over the years, I have made tons of hilarious mistakes. Allow me to indulge you for a moment.
In my first article in February, I told you about the embarrassment of telling my very sexy Spanish teacher I was ‘horny’ instead of ‘hot’ when asking to open the window. If you’ve made a fool out of yourself, it’s a surefire way to help you remember for next time. So go ahead, make a fool of yourself!
Tengo calor /TEN-go KA-lor/ = I’m hot (warm)
Estoy caliente /es-STOY calli-YEN-tay/ = I’m horny
Close your eyes and think of Spain. What do you see? I’m sure that many will picture beautiful beaches, Flamenco dresses and even bullfighting, but ask the gourmand and their response will be jamón or ham in English. The Pata Negra Jamón de Bellota is the crème de la crème of Spanish ham and brings us to our next false friend.
Jamón /ha-MON/ = ham
Mermelada /mer-meh-ladda/= jam
In the summer I was having breakfast in a trendy bar in the city. Although a Spanish speaker, I was given the menu in English as I was with some English-speaking friends, normally not an issue, except on this day. I order the cheese and ham croissant, a logical and delicious combination.
Did I get said cheese and ham croissant? No siree, what I actually received was a blue cheese and jam croissant. Naturally, I question my order, only to be told that I had received what I had ordered un croissant de queso azul y mermelada. To the untrained linguist here we face more problems, you see, mermelada is not marmalade, but jam and ham is jamón not jam. No wonder everyone was confused.
I take issue with menu fails, though. A close friend of mine has a serious allergy, and one I have had the unfortunate experience of seeing firsthand. Anaphylaxis set in, an ambulance was called and some hysterical French was heard. This was not a menu fail, but can you imagine being responsible for someone’s allergic reaction because of a mistranslation or a false friend? I’m not sure there is a serious jamón allergy knocking around, but restaurateurs , please check your menu translations, especially if you don’t speak the other language. I’d be happy to do it myself in exchange for a tasty morsel.
Technically not a false friend, just two words in Spanish which have a very different meaning, but differ by only one letter. The perfect opportunity for me to embarrass a friend of mine. A few years ago some uni friends came to visit me in Palma. Joey had studied the same degree as me, Modern Languages: Spanish and Italian. It’s true to say that she preferred Italian to my Spanish, but she could still get by in her third language, or so we thought. As you do when guests come to stay, the inevitable tapas night ensues. One of the most typical tapas dishes is the humble croquette or croqueta /croh-ketta/. So, to give me some respite from always ordering for everyone, Joey steps up to the plate, so to speak. Of course, I trusted her – but I shouldn’t have, for what she ordered next can only be fit for a Hen Party in the bowels of hell – yes, instead of ordering the chicken croquettes or croquetas de pollo /poyo/, she orders us some not so appetising dick croquettes (croquetas de polla /poya/). The waiter was in bits, Joey was mortified, the non-Spanish speakers were none-the-wiser, and Muggins Here had to take on the role of Chief Food Orderer again. It was fun while it lasted.
This final false friend must be the classic; probably the first one to be taught to Spanish language students across the globe. It’s the embarazada vs embarazosa confusion. Due to its context and ‘a’ ending in the adjectival form, this fail is one often committed by the fairer sex.
Embarazada /em-barra-THAD-da/= pregnant
Embarazosa /em-barra-THOH-sa= embarrassed
The whole Stocker clan are being roped into my articles, and I must say a special thanks to my heavily embarazada sister-in-law, who wasn’t too embarazosa to have her photo taken and feature in this month’s piece. Thank you, Jessica.
There are tons of these little gems littered through the language and thanks to a Facebook thread I planted a few months back, I have more embarrassing tales to tell. Now that I have embarrassed myself, maybe your fail will feature next…
By Alex Stocker – La Language Loca!Â
