Let’s talk about luck. Are you a believer or do you think you make your own?

I remember learning that ‘luck’ is ‘when preparation meets opportunity’. I like that, it makes sense to me.

In recent years I have developed two great businesses alongside my lovely partner, have lots of really nice experiences and wonderful friends and connections all over the world. We are warm and dry, comfortable and secure, and our work takes us to amazing places and gives us access to incredible people.

When I post a photo of us delivering training and events in the Maldives, Thailand, the Caribbean, the Mediterranean etc, or of us sailing in the sunshine or swimming with manta rays, some of my friends and family tell me I am lucky. If you knew the timeline of my life you would understand that none of this fell into my lap and I take none of it for granted.

Any of you with a career which affords you similar experiences will testify to the fact that we work incredibly hard a) to be there in the first place and b) whilst we are there when we are working.

So, what is luck? If I win the lottery this weekend, am I lucky? Or have I just accessed the opportunity and been prepared by buying the ticket and matched as a result of mathematics?

If I get the job this time and someone else doesn’t, is that because I am lucky or is it because I have made sure that my skills match the requirements, that I have presented myself well and I am prepared for my interview?

I have to be honest and say that there have been times when I have said ‘wow, that was serendipity!’ (posh word for luck) because it’s true that there are times when things seem to align perfectly for you.

We often hear about the power of intention in those instances. If we explore what that actually means it is about having absolute focus on the things you want. Logic dictates that if you have absolute focus on something, you will make decisions and take actions which move you closer to that goal, consciously or unconsciously. We can think ourselves successful, or we can think ourselves unsuccessful, either way we will be right!

One of the things that can get in the way of us achieving all our hearts desires is our own self sabotage.

Self-sabotage takes many guises, here are six that might look familiar to you;

1. Sticking to your comfort zone.

There is a saying that ‘progress happens in the challenge zone’ and it’s true! If we always do what we’ve always done, we’ll always get what we’ve always had. So how do you get out there into that fabled ‘challenge zone’. Well, you can try new things! What have you always wanted to do but been too afraid to try? Here’s an example from my world. Until very recently I have been too scared to put videos on our Instagram feeds for the businesses. Why? Because I thought no one would want to watch them or be interested and I have a massive fear of rejection. But I did one, and I posted it and I got nice feedback so I did it again, and again … and now I can’t stop myself! A perfect example of how sometimes, when you try something new, you discover a bravery or a talent you didn’t know you had.

• Distraction

Do you find yourself avoiding doing the things you could be doing for yourself because you have to be doing things for other people…? Do you use any excuse to avoid serving your own needs? The distraction technique means you are focusing on everything EXCEPT you. Two possible reasons for this are thinking that you don’t deserve it, and fear.

If you feel you don’t deserve happiness or success then the reasons may be more complex than this article can address, but if you need help with that there are many wonderful and very qualified coaches and counsellors out there, but many of my connections over the years have healed themselves by reading, taking up meditation or a sport or music.. many ways that we can be-friend ourselves. If it’s fear, then fear of what? Fear of change is common; we think we want things for ourselves but when it comes down to it, we are uncomfortable about what we might have to give up in the gaining of it. Fear of success is similar; do you really want the pressure of being a huge success with a massive business and teams of people to take responsibility for??

• Shifting blame

It’s everybody else’s fault that you aren’t achieving your goals, your being blocked at every pass. It’s because you are too short, too tall, a man, a woman… you get the gist. It’s about mind-set in this case. We have to get past the blame game and focus on what is within our control.

• Negative self-talk

Stop that! How unhelpful is negative self-talk? There are plenty of people out there who will make themselves feel better by being mean to you, why would you join them?! Neuroscientists will tell you that when we think negatively parts of our brain shut down, they don’t light up and they don’t fire. So, we don’t make good decisions, we can’t think creatively, and we don’t connect to our ability to influence others. Conversely, when we think positively all those pathways light up like fairy lights! Creative, decisive and charming, all yours to access!

• Procrastination

“When I’ve lost a bit of weight I will…”

“I just need to finish this project before I start studying…”

“I’ll start my own business when I have saved enough money…”

We all do it, procrastination is a sign that something isn’t quite right for you. Either you are not confident in your abilities to achieve the task or goal, or you lack the motivation for it.

In the first example, ask yourself what you can do to develop those capabilities and then practice that new skill over and over again to help develop your confidence. If it’s motivation, ask yourself “Is this really something I want for myself?”.

We use all sorts of tools to help people to understand their strengths and what really motivates them, so if you would like help understanding what really fires up your mojo and will have you raring to go, get in touch.

• Perfectionism!

“Comparison is the thief of joy” (Theodore Roosevelt)

If you are comparing yourself with others who have been doing something for longer, or do something slightly different, and you think you are falling short then it’s time to get some perspective.

We are all different, with our own unique talents, skills and attributes and it is that uniqueness that you should be tapping into, developing and maximising. Trying to be something you are not is a waste of time and energy.

If you are just a complete perfectionist and nothing is ever good enough, then it’s time to get some perspective (again!) but this time, ask others what they think of what you are doing, have produced etc. And then listen to them…! Cut yourself some slack, what’s perfection to you might not be for someone else so check who you are trying to please.

Which of these resonate for you and how can you step away from them to allow yourself to achieve your dreams, your goals and your ambitions? How can you make your own luck?

Take some time to think about what you want and set yourself some intentions.

Good luck!

Sara Ballinger

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