I have enjoyed a love affair with Mallorca for some 30 years and lived here permanently for 10 years.  After selling the bar I owned with my family last September,  I declared that 2020 was going to be my year.   A healthy looking diary, I had booked tickets for every event going, as well as monthly flights back to the UK to see my family.  Best laid plans and all that …. Everything changed on 15^th March when Mallorca became officially ‘locked down’.

When news first broke that, shock horror, the bars, restaurants and shops were closing, I couldn’t quite grasp the reality of it.  Generally speaking, Mallorquin folk are super laid back, even at Christmas – no local worth his salt would queue for an hour just to pick up a turkey, so I was quite bemused when whilst out minding my own business, I noticed locusts clearing the shelves in the Supermarket  – there were shopping trollies everywhere piled high.  Rolls eyes – I refused to join in, bought my 8 items and left.  Ooops big mistake!

Spain locked down and didn’t faff about.  Armed police blocked the roads and woe betide you if you tried to bend the rules, the fines started at €600….   Stories abounded of people getting caught out and paying heinous fines for doing so €600 – €1500+.   Staying in and washing our hands became the new going out.

The novelty of Day time TV soon wore thin, the day I noticed I was organising my day around Judge Rinder  it had to go, taking with it the news bulletins.  Mortality numbers fired out like football results was replaced with podcasts and audio books which I found more palatable for my mental health.  Very soon, lockdown life with super clean hands became normal, although I swear that first week had 25 days in it.

Our world is ruled by Social media, and this time offered an opportunity to learn a new skill.  Free online classes proffered by generous hearted souls meant you could make Paella, groom your dog, paint your cat, learn to dance or heaven forbid sing …urgh.

As I sat on my sofa, with yet another glass of chilled Rosado, I admiringly read stories of productive people, but it was very clear, we can’t all be Mary Poppins.  Around the second week, I did sign up for keep fit at home, but as no one could see what I was doing (or not), it was very easy to sack it off, sit down and scroll through Facebook – my inner self was having a rebel up.

I cooked a bit, but buying normal ingredients was a real problem as we could only use our nearest supermarket.  My nearest shop is aimed at tourists, so not only did I spend a fortune, I also developed a taste for French bread, crisps and chocolate – I drew the line at a Unicorn Lilo but only because the beach was closed.  The old mantra of eat less and move more, was replaced with eat as much as you possibly can, park up and pop on that TV!

By the fourth week, everything started to get tiresome so I contemplated doing some post reform jobs in my apartment …   A bit of painting and varnishing and some proper cleaning ….  I thought about it, planned it and wrote endless lists in the hope that I would feel inspired.  The lists are still there – the cupboards are still a tip and I refuse to even try and find the paint.   I accepted that we have to get through this madness as best we can and I refuse to berate myself because quite frankly I just don’t care.

For 7 weeks, we stayed at home wrapped in our security blanket, but all good things must end and the government introduced a phased plan of how Spain would emerge from lockdown on a week by week basis.  Suddenly, FOMO was replaced by FOGO.   Statements and press releases were issued, then reissued and contradicted sometimes at 3am (who does this stuff?) and most of us lived through those first phases in a state of perpetual confusion. Can we? Can’t we?

That first Sunday when children were allowed out was quite a momentous day;  literally squeals of delight, mostly from the parents, could be heard everywhere.  The second week, adults were liberated which presented something else to think about….  ‘The etiquette of Social Distancing’.   Keeping 2 metres from people on the street generally involves more than a little line dancing.  I am British, so as I throw myself into the path of an oncoming bus I also apologise at the same time.  I am now completely conditioned and acutely aware of people I don’t know getting too close to me,

With the arrival of the next phase, the public, resurfaced gasping for a decent cup of coffee, and brave business owners opened their doors to this new world, only to be bombarded with orders, instructions and inspections.  It was plain to see however, whilst observing social distancing, every second of reconnection with estranged friends and family was deeply felt.  Many tears were shed – It has been such an emotional time and we knew we were coming out of something quite unique.  Some of us smarter, more accomplished and others like myself,  just a few kilos heavier.

This whole episode has afforded us time to appraise what has been going on in our world.  Without pollution from the air sea and roads, we have cleaner seas and fresher air to breathe; it will be interesting to see how the ‘new normal’ is rolled out and whether we can do better in the future.  Let us hope so.

By Diane Hughes